After 25 years I have been through the “weight loss diet” process many, many times and through each process I always had issues with guilt. Most likely from me eating food I had subconsciously told myself I could not have…ever. But also guilt from not bouncing back from one day…and it ended up being an entire week so the scale showed my weakness in the numbers. Therefore my topic for today’s post in My Journey to Lose 100 lbs is learning to forgive yourself and know you are doing the best you can in that moment.
Many times I have taken this road to weight loss as a means of depriving myself of food instead of thinking of it as a change in my habits. And because of this mentality I have always felt bad or guilty when I fall off the wagon. As one of my great Weight Watcher leaders used to say “We are all or nothing personalities” so when we break that perfectionism we feel guilty in not being perfect. So I am here to say I AM NOT PERFECT. No one is. We all make mistakes. We all fall down. But the important thing is to remember that what makes us great is to pick ourselves up and keep trying. For when we give up the journey we are giving up on ourselves and it has taken me 25 years to figure this out.
This journey feels different to me and honestly I think it’s a lot of different things contributing to it but the biggest one is I feel healthy mentally for the first time since I started stuffing my face with Oreos after school years ago. For the first time I am okay with myself and my mistakes. There are some things I wish I could go back in time and change but I know that wishing on the past is not helping me in the future. By taking these mistakes I can become a stronger and healthier person.
This past week I had a brownie…I will admit it. Back in my old weight loss journeys this would have meant a full week of bad behavior from me and a possible weight gain. But after I had my brownie I did not once feel guilty. I felt “normal”. In fact my husband has asked me twice this week “is this on your diet?” as we try to figure out our dinner meals. I just smiled back and said “I can have everything I want. I just need to make better choices and only have things in moderation.” It’s hard to explain but I felt free…lighter…in acknowledging that I am not depriving myself but making better choices, one at a time and if I wanted something like that brownie I could. I had finally figured out the guilty voice in my head and shoved her off my shoulder. I am free to be who I am, imperfections and all and I am okay with that. I forgive myself and yet…I do not need to forgive…because I am okay. And so are you!
Weight Loss This Week: 2.5 pounds
There are many things I am working on to reach a happier, healthier me and by taking these small steps the process doesn’t seem so out of reach especially for someone like me with a long road ahead of me with a large amount to lose. If you have lost weight or you are beginning the journey like me, please comment here or on Facebook as I would love to know how you are managing this road with me.
Be sure to read the rest of the My Journey to Lose 100 lbs series as I will be adding at least two each week for the next year.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional nor am I trying to portray one. All opinions in this article are my own thoughts and trials as I go through this weight loss process. As always you should check with a physician before beginning any diet or exercise program.
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