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Over the last month I have thought of many ways to start this post but as usual I was not near the computer to actually put my thoughts into written words. In fact it usually seems to happen when I am in the middle of something else that the perfect sentence or paragraph runs through my head and then just as quickly it disappears. So here are my words tonight…

My name is Mackenzie and I need to lose 100lbs. It’s scary to actually look at that number but I think even more so to acknowledge it to the public, as if the magic of Internet can hide the fact that I do indeed need to lose the weight. It must be the same Internet fairy that mysteriously disconnects my wireless network, playing a trick on my computer and on my mind. Mischievous little fairy she is…

So the fact remains that yes, I need to lose that much weight. I have struggled with my weight since I was 10 and unfortunately…my weight won. Over the years I have gained 20 there…lost 10…gained 40…you know the drill. All my self worth has been put into those meaningless calories until the point where I did not think I was worthy of being here. I will not go into details but I had an awakening when a great friend of mine helped me through the darkness to see the light and for that I am forever grateful. It took her words, as simple as they were, to show me that we are ALL worthy of being here, being loved and that to begin this journey I must except myself for who I am…faults and all.

So, that my friends, is the reason for this post.

I have finally found peace with myself…my imperfections and not even with my body but with myself…who I am deep down. Once I accepted myself…and actually started to see the “real me” and not the distorted view I had imagined I decided that I needed to take care of the outside…now that the inside was healthy.  And to get healthy I must start to lose the 100lbs of baggage I have carried around for 25 years and to do that…I must have a plan!

Starting on Tuesday (new year, new me) I will begin a series of two posts a week on different simple steps that I can take to begin the new healthier lifestyle and maybe you too. I will also begin to do the usual “change your diet and get more exercise” routine but I like the idea of simple steps…one foot in the other…to help accomplish a goal.

It will be hard…I know that. And I may not make the 100lbs by the time the series is done…but my goal is to lose enough by April to reverse the pre-diabetes diagnosis I received two weeks ago. I have personally watched my father go through that until he became injection dependent and I do not want to become that way. I owe it to my girls and my husband to be here a long time, I owe it to my mom to fight as hard as she did with her disease and above all…I owe it to ME.

So I hope you will join me on the journey and maybe share your own successes or struggles as we work through this together.

Tagged as: my journey